The Last Confession

Jake was on his death bed. His wife, Susan, was maintaining a vigil by his side.

As she held his fragile hand, tears ran down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to moveslightly. "My darling Susan," he whispered.

"Hush, my love," she said. "Rest. Shhh. Don't talk."

He was insistent. "Susan," he said in his tired voice. "I have something I must confess to you."

"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Susan. "Everything's all right, go to sleep."

"No, no. I must die in peace, Susan. I slept with your sister, your best friend,and your mother."

"I know," she replied. "That's why I poisoned you"

One 2 ka Four

One Bengali is a poet
Two Bengalis is a film society
Three Bengalis is a political party
Four Bengalis is two political parties
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One Punjabi is a 100 kg hulk named Pinky
Two Punjabis is a Pinky with his brother Twinky
Three Punjabis is an assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds
Four Punjabis is a combined IQ equal to one
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One Bihari is Laloo Prasad Yadav
Two Biharis is a booth-capturing squad
Three Biharis is a caste killing
Four Biharis is the entire literate population of Patna
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One Mallu is a coconut stall
Two Mallus is a boat race
Three Mallus is a Gulf job racket
Four Mallus is an oil slick
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One UP bhaiyya is a milkman
Two UP bhaiyyas is a halwai shop
Three UP bhaiyyas is a fist-fight in the UPassembly
Four UP bhaiyyas is a mosque-destruction squad
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One Gujju is a share-broker in a Bombay train
Two Gujjus is a rummy game in a Bombay train
Three Gujjus is Bombay's noisiest restaurant
Four Gujjus is a stock market scam
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One Andhraite is a chilli farmer
Two Andhraites is a software company in New Jersey
Three Andhraites is a Naxalite outfit
Four Andhraites is a song-and-dance number in a Telugu movie
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One Kashmiri is a carpet salesman
Two Kashmiris is a carpet factory
Three Kashmiris is a terrorist outfit
Four Kashmiris is a shoot-at-sight order
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One Tam-Brahm is a priest at the Vardarajaperumal temple
Two Tam-Brahms is a maths tuition class
Three Tam-Brahms is a queue outside the U.S consulate at 4 a.m.
Four Tam-Brahms is a Thyagaraja music festival in Santa Clara-
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One Bombayite is a footpath vada-pav stall
Two Bombayites is a film studio
Three Bombayites is a slum
Four Bombayites is the number of people standing on your foot in the train at rush hour
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One Sindhi is a currency racket
Two Sindhis is a papad factory
Three Sindhis is a duplicate goods shop in Ulhasnagar
Four Sindhis is the Hong Kong Retail Traders Association
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One Marwari is the neighbourhood adulterer
Two Marwaris own 50% of Calcutta
Three Marwaris can finish off all Gujaratis & Sindhis
Four Marwaris will threaten the Jews as a community
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One U.S. Desi is a software guy
Two U.S. Desis is a lunch group at work
Three U.S. Desis is a bitching session about the U.S
Four U.S. Desis is four software guys, heating tamarind rice in the office microwave,cooked that morning, in their shared one bedroom ghetto, and bitching about life in the U.S