These four classified ads appeared in a newspaper on
four consecutive days. The last three hopelessly
trying to correct the first day's mistake.
MONDAY: For sale - SK Shah has a sewing machine for
sale. Phone 2555-0707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani
who lives with him cheap.
TUESDAY: Notice: We regret having erred in SK Shah's
ad yesterday. It should have read, "One sewing machine
for sale cheap. Phone 2555-0707 and ask for Mrs Mani,
who lives with him after 7PM."
WEDNESDAY: Notice: SK Shah has informed us that he has
received several annoying telephone calls because of
the error we made in the classified ad yesterday.The
ad stands correct as follows: "For sale - SK Shah has
a sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 2555-0707
after 7PM and ask for Mrs. Mani who loves with him.
THURSDAY: Notice: I, SK Shah, have no sewing machine
for sale. I smashed it. Don't call 2555-0707 as I have
had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying
on with Mrs. Mani. Until yesterday, she was my
housekeeper but she quit.
June 29, 2006
BEST OF THE WORST
THE WORST HIJACKING
We shall never know the identity of the man who in 1976 made the most unsuccessful hijack attempt ever.On a flight across America, he rose from his seat,drew gun and took the stewardess hostage."Take me to Detroit," he demanded."We're already going to Detroit," she replied.
"Oh ... good," he said, and sat down again.
THE WORST BANK ROBBERY
In August 1975 three men were on their way in to rob the Royal Bank of Scotland at Rothesay, when they got stuck in the revolving doors. They had to be helped free by the staff and, after thanking everyone,sheepishly left the building. A few minutes later they returned and announced their intention of robbing the bank, but none of the staff believed them.
When they demanded 5,000 pounds in cash, the head cashier laughed at them, convinced that it was a practical joke. Then one of the men jumped over the counter, but fell to the floor clutching his ankle. The other two tried to make their getaway, but got trapped in the revolving doors again.
THE WORST ANIMAL RESCUE
During the firemen's strike of1978, the British Army had taken over emergency fire fighting and on 14 January they were called out by an elderly lady in South London to retrieve her cat which had become trapped up a tree. They arrived with impressive haste and soon discharged their duty. So grateful was the lady that she invited them all in for tea. Driving off later, with fond farewells completed, they ran over
the cat and killed it!..
We shall never know the identity of the man who in 1976 made the most unsuccessful hijack attempt ever.On a flight across America, he rose from his seat,drew gun and took the stewardess hostage."Take me to Detroit," he demanded."We're already going to Detroit," she replied.
"Oh ... good," he said, and sat down again.
THE WORST BANK ROBBERY
In August 1975 three men were on their way in to rob the Royal Bank of Scotland at Rothesay, when they got stuck in the revolving doors. They had to be helped free by the staff and, after thanking everyone,sheepishly left the building. A few minutes later they returned and announced their intention of robbing the bank, but none of the staff believed them.
When they demanded 5,000 pounds in cash, the head cashier laughed at them, convinced that it was a practical joke. Then one of the men jumped over the counter, but fell to the floor clutching his ankle. The other two tried to make their getaway, but got trapped in the revolving doors again.
THE WORST ANIMAL RESCUE
During the firemen's strike of1978, the British Army had taken over emergency fire fighting and on 14 January they were called out by an elderly lady in South London to retrieve her cat which had become trapped up a tree. They arrived with impressive haste and soon discharged their duty. So grateful was the lady that she invited them all in for tea. Driving off later, with fond farewells completed, they ran over
the cat and killed it!..
June 28, 2006
Clever Wife
A Clever Husband's letter to his wife:
Dear Sweetheart:
I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart
Your husband
Allen
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
His wife replied back after some days to her husband:
Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.
4. Other expenses 40 kisses.
Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance.
Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!!
Your Sweet Heart
Dear Sweetheart:
I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart
Your husband
Allen
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
His wife replied back after some days to her husband:
Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.
4. Other expenses 40 kisses.
Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance.
Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!!
Your Sweet Heart
Punctuation is powerful
An English professor wrote the words:
"A woman without her man is nothing"
on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it Correctly.
All of the males in the class wrote:
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."
All the females in the class wrote:
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."
"A woman without her man is nothing"
on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it Correctly.
All of the males in the class wrote:
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."
All the females in the class wrote:
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."
June 07, 2006
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