Job Ads

What job ads really mean:

"Competitive Salary" : We remain competitive by paying you less than our competition.

"Join our fast-paced company" : We have no time to train you.

"Casual work atmosphere" : We don't pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

"Some overtime required" : Some every night and some every weekend.

"Duties will vary" : Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"Must have an eye for detail" : We have no quality assurance.

"Career-minded" : Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

"Apply in person" : If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told that the position has been filled.

"Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience" : You'll need it to replace the three people who just quit.

"Problem-solving skills a must" : You're walking into perpetual chaos.

"Requires team leadership skills" : You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

"Good communication skills" : Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.