This is when Amitabh Bachan got fit after his long illness.....
one fine morning he told his drvier "Arre bhai aaj Gaadi hum chalayenge..".
driver: "Par saab aapki tabyat?.."
amitabh :"Aree meri tabyat thik ho gayi he, I am fit and fine...kya dance karke dikhau, dialogue, fighting kareke dikhau...
....Hain"
Ok then he starts driving the car very fast.... zoooooooooom
breaks one red signal.........
breaks second red signal..........
breaks on more red signal...........
Then a traffic hawaldar stops the car, tells the car to be sided to the road..
Tells the driver to come out... "Chalo liscence dikhao, puc, gaadi ke kagjaaat..."
Sees amitabh "are Amitabh Bachhan?!!!" he is very suprised to see him....
Then he quickly on wireless calls his senior officers....
"Sir, aap jaldi yaha aye naake par..."
Sir:"Kyun kya hua??"
Havaldar:"Sir ek gaadi ne signal toda he aur maine us gaadi ko side me rakha he"
Sir: "To phir?"
hawaldar:"SIr, Us gaadi ka maalik bahut bada aadmi he sir .... mein uska challan nahi phaad sakta aap khud yahan aiye .."
Sir:"KON MAALIK HE US GAADI KA??"
HAWALDAR : "WOH TO PATA NAHI SIR PAR USNE NE HE NA SIR ... AMITABH BACHHAN KO DRIVER RAKHA HE....".
May 30, 2006
May 28, 2006
Bubble
A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students. As it was the first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to introduce themselves with name and hobby.
She said, Lets start with the boys first.
Boys start giving their intro...
First boy: My name is John, and my hobby is to see "bubble" in the bathtub.
Teacher was confused to listen but said, Interesting. Well, Ok. Infact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So its ok John. Yes next.
Second boy: Myself Peter and my hobby is to see "bubble" in the bathtub.
Teacher now got surprised and said, Good. I like the spirit of supporting a friend. Ok next.
Third boy: Im Smith and my hobby is to see "bubble" in the bathtub.
Teacher: Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere. Ok next.
This continues...
and the last boy stands up Im Harry and my hobby is to see "bubble" in the bathtub.
Exhausted, the teacher said, I dont think I will be able to teach un-grown boys for long.
Anyway, now the girls please.
First girl: Im Julie and my hobby is to see birds.
Teacher: Good. At last I got something different. Ok next.
Second girl: Im Ruby and I like to collect perfumes.
Teacher Now its like educated grown up girls. Ok next. You sweet girl; Yes you...
Most beautiful girl of the class:
Mam, my name is BUBBLE, and my hobby is to take bath three times a day.
She said, Lets start with the boys first.
Boys start giving their intro...
First boy: My name is John, and my hobby is to see "bubble" in the bathtub.
Teacher was confused to listen but said, Interesting. Well, Ok. Infact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So its ok John. Yes next.
Second boy: Myself Peter and my hobby is to see "bubble" in the bathtub.
Teacher now got surprised and said, Good. I like the spirit of supporting a friend. Ok next.
Third boy: Im Smith and my hobby is to see "bubble" in the bathtub.
Teacher: Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere. Ok next.
This continues...
and the last boy stands up Im Harry and my hobby is to see "bubble" in the bathtub.
Exhausted, the teacher said, I dont think I will be able to teach un-grown boys for long.
Anyway, now the girls please.
First girl: Im Julie and my hobby is to see birds.
Teacher: Good. At last I got something different. Ok next.
Second girl: Im Ruby and I like to collect perfumes.
Teacher Now its like educated grown up girls. Ok next. You sweet girl; Yes you...
Most beautiful girl of the class:
Mam, my name is BUBBLE, and my hobby is to take bath three times a day.
May 20, 2006
May 16, 2006
Questioning the monkey
Once in America a plane crashed, only a monkey who was traveling in the plane was left alive. Fortunately the monkey was intelligent enough to understand our language and reply in actions. The officials went to see the monkey in the hospital and had a talk with the monkey.
Officer: "When the plane took off what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Tying their belts"
Officer: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Saying Hello! Good morning!"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Checking the system"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Looking for my people"
Officer: "After 10' minutes what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Having beverages and snacks"
Officer: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Serving the travelers"
Officer: "What were the Pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Eating & throwing"
Officer: "After 30 minutes what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Some were sleeping and some were reading"
Officer: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Make up"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Nothing"
Officer: "Just before plane crash what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "All were sleeping"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the air hostess"
Officer: What were you doing?
Monkey: Handling the steering!!!!!
No more Questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Officer: "When the plane took off what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Tying their belts"
Officer: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Saying Hello! Good morning!"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Checking the system"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Looking for my people"
Officer: "After 10' minutes what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Having beverages and snacks"
Officer: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Serving the travelers"
Officer: "What were the Pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Eating & throwing"
Officer: "After 30 minutes what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Some were sleeping and some were reading"
Officer: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Make up"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Nothing"
Officer: "Just before plane crash what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "All were sleeping"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the air hostess"
Officer: What were you doing?
Monkey: Handling the steering!!!!!
No more Questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
May 15, 2006
Death Cause
DEATHS THAT MADE EVEN TOP DOCTORS WONDER...
This case happened in a hospital's Intensive care ward where Patients always died in the same bed and on all Sunday morning at 11a.m, regardless of their medical condition.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.
So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m. all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves
what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil........
Ju st when the! clock struck 11...
and then......
Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and Unplugged the life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner .
This case happened in a hospital's Intensive care ward where Patients always died in the same bed and on all Sunday morning at 11a.m, regardless of their medical condition.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.
So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m. all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves
what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil........
Ju st when the! clock struck 11...
and then......
Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and Unplugged the life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner .
May 14, 2006
May 13, 2006
Just Kidding
How India is surviving!!
The population of India is 100 crores. But 19 crores are retired.
Of this there are 22 crores employed by the Central Government, leaving 34 crores to do the work.
4 crores are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 30 crores to do the work.
Take away from above total the 20 crores people who work for State Governments (State Government employees officially do not work!) and that leaves 10 crores to do the work.
Total unemployed are 8 crores and that leaves 2 crores to do the work.
At any given time there are 1.2 crore people in hospitals, leaving 80 lakhs to do the work.
Now, according to Indian Statistical Institute, there are 79,99,998 people in prisons throughout the!! country.
That leaves just 2 people to do the work.......You and me!!!
And currently YOU(if u r Indian) are sitting at your computer reading my blog. So I am the only person in our country who is working hard.
The population of India is 100 crores. But 19 crores are retired.
That leaves 81 crores which do the work. There are 25 crores in school, which leaves 56 crores to do the work.
Of this there are 22 crores employed by the Central Government, leaving 34 crores to do the work.
4 crores are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 30 crores to do the work.
Take away from above total the 20 crores people who work for State Governments (State Government employees officially do not work!) and that leaves 10 crores to do the work.
Total unemployed are 8 crores and that leaves 2 crores to do the work.
At any given time there are 1.2 crore people in hospitals, leaving 80 lakhs to do the work.
Now, according to Indian Statistical Institute, there are 79,99,998 people in prisons throughout the!! country.
That leaves just 2 people to do the work.......You and me!!!
And currently YOU(if u r Indian) are sitting at your computer reading my blog. So I am the only person in our country who is working hard.
Sardarji Jokes
A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 second a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
Sardar-why are all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why are others running?
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "you will go to jail".
Sardar gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Sardar:"I've been promoted as branch manager."
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected". After much thought he wrote : Yes!
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. you know Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It"s already raining.
Sardar: So what? take an umbrella and go.
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What came first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever you order first will come first.
Sardar wins Rs. 20 crore from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave Rs. 11 crore after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: "Give me Rs. 20 crore or else return my 20 Rs. back.!
Postman:- I had to come 5 miles to deliver you this packet
Sardar:- why did you come so far. Instead you could have posted it....
Sardar proposed to a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1 year older to you'...........
Sardar said 'Oye no problem Soniye, I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.
Sardar's wish :when i die,i wanna die like my grandpa who died peacefulyin his sleep not screamin like all the passengers in the car he was driving..
Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why are you writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
Sardar-why are all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why are others running?
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "you will go to jail".
Sardar gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Sardar:"I've been promoted as branch manager."
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected". After much thought he wrote : Yes!
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. you know Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It"s already raining.
Sardar: So what? take an umbrella and go.
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What came first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever you order first will come first.
Sardar wins Rs. 20 crore from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave Rs. 11 crore after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: "Give me Rs. 20 crore or else return my 20 Rs. back.!
Postman:- I had to come 5 miles to deliver you this packet
Sardar:- why did you come so far. Instead you could have posted it....
Sardar proposed to a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1 year older to you'...........
Sardar said 'Oye no problem Soniye, I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.
Sardar's wish :when i die,i wanna die like my grandpa who died peacefulyin his sleep not screamin like all the passengers in the car he was driving..
Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why are you writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.
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